what’s your bird sign?
goose. im a goose.
The Hawk. Aw ye.
I’M A SWAN this is fate I have to keep the title for my story now
Swaaaaan. What noise does a swan make?
I am a Titmouse A Titmouse
I sort of taught myself how to do this by trial and error when I was making the latest page of my webcomic. I felt it might be useful to share. Thanks for looking!
More Tutorials Here
so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night
That is the cutest thing I’ve ever read oh my god
The fact that in the world there exists tiny cotton ball bats in tiny bat communities that cling to the bottom of folded leaves makes all the shitty stuff that exists totally ok.
be still my heart
"When you dress like that it’s like putting a steak in front of a dog; what do you expect?"
Peanut butter is basically my dog’s favorite thing in the world.
You know why she’s not even touching it?
I said “no.”
OOHOHOHOOOOOOO OHO OHO O OHOHOO O OHO OH O HO OH OOHH HO WHATCHA GON DO NOW SON
I went to see hamlet and the guy playing hamlet was rather cute and had a lot of shirtless scenes going on and so I stared at him and tried to make eye contact until he caught my eye and I wiggled my eyebrow and he broke character and smiled and after that I would catch him glancing my way and after the play was over he came into the lobby and pulled me into his dressing room and that is how I lost my virginity to someone with his own Wikipedia page
this one time when i was seven i thought that i could talk to trees (because i had no friends), and i use to sit by them and say things and one day i was talking to my tree friend called kevin and this girl went up to me and said “are you talking to that tree, freak!” and i started crying and hugged on to the tree, and while she was laughing one of the branches fell on the girls head, thanks kevin.
there has never before been such a ‘that’s it that’s the show” gifset in the history of time
MY DAD THOUGHT SKRILLEX WAS A POKEMON
Above is the “Know Anon” code that allows you to expose any hateful anons you wish at your own whim. If you know anyone who’s struggling with anonymous hate, reblog this for them.
- How to install
Simply copy the above code and paste it right after the <head> portion of the HTML coding on your blog. This is with the jQuery script included, so everything should be covered. Once you’ve done this, update and save, then exit your customize page.
Re-enter your customize page, and under “appearance” should be a button called “Enable Know Anon”, which may be on or off automatically, depending. Flip the switch to enable or disable it, then save.
- How to use
When you get anonymous hate or anon messages you find offensive, simply exit your Inbox, enter your Customize page, flip the switch to “on”, then save and exist. Re-enter your inbox, and any and all anonymous messages will be exposed with a URL, if they have one. Note that this includes everything, not just the hate. Another thing to note is that, once you expose anons in the inbox, you can’t un-expose them. Flipping the switch back to “off” does nothing.
Answer a message people thought was on anon, and gee, they’ll get a nasty little surprise, hmm? It’s better than a fake anonymous button because while you still can’t control who it exposes, you can control when to do so.
Remember though, that this isn’t the only way to stop anonymous hate. As always, there’s simply the “turn anonymous asks off” button. And thanks to the update from a few months ago, anons CAN be blocked.
That little hand right there? That’s the ignore button. It’s present on all asks sent, whether anon or otherwise. When you block an anon, you have the option to report them for spam or harassment, and it will permanently block them. It also blocks the IP address and computer, so that person can’t take advantage of extra accounts to continue sending you hate. It effectively wipes that person right out of your Tumblr life. They cannot contact your blog again, ever.
For the website that gives you the Know Anon code, with or without jQuery script, in case that causes trouble (most themes come with it pre-installed, but not all), go here.
[ Goodness, wow thank you very much for letting me know this existed! That was very considerate of you! ]
EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN GETTING LITTLE NO-LIFE SHITHEADS BOTHERING THEM.
Here you go. <3
Where was this yesterda
MAXIMUM UNICORN WORLD
MAXIMUM BOOTY KILLER
MAXIMUM BOOTY KINGDOM
NASTY WALRUS REVENGE
BLOODY SOCCER BATTLE!!!
STINKY ZOMBIE SHOWDOWN
FORBIDDEN UNICORN HUNTER
ANGRY UNDERWEAR ASSAULT
EXTREME SOCCER KINGDOM
CRAZY BOOTY WORLD
Bloody Booty Domination
Mysterious Chimp Attack
Maximum Penguin Detective
Forbidden zombie revolution
Forbidden unicorn smuggler
DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS
GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS
AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.
I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO
WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”
The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
I’m looking for Sarah. She’s from Sweden. That’s all I know. I REALY need to find her please help me.
Please help me! I’m still looking for Sarah. I really need her it’s a very long story please just help me find her.