Halloween Tumblr Themes

Anonymous asked: I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?

xekstrin:

mylife-beliike:

i-do-it-for-the-lesbians:

ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE

This kills me every time

"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"

foxinu:

nsfwjynx:

the-pink-mist:

There was a split second there where his like, “wait, what? bro what are you doing?” 
On more serious note, PTSD dogs for veterans are so fucking therapeutic. They’re like the one person you can spill your guts to and never worry about ever being judged or have that secret divulged. There are times when I definitely prefer the company of a dog over a human. 

Therapy animals save lives.

These dogs are even still so much more amazing. They check rooms before their handler enters, so they can clear it to help the person feel safe. Like in the gif, they are there when panic attacks or nightmares occur, to be something for the person to help ground themselves on, or yes just to turn on the lights. Even more amazing, many people are able to reduce their medication when they have a PTSD service dog there to help them. These dogs are useful for not just veterans, but also victims of abuse, accident trauma, natural disasters, and others. Their training allows them to be useful in situations where medical assistance is needed, as well. Some PTSD dogs are trained to recognize repetitive behaviours in handlers, and signal the handler to break the repetition and stopping the behaviour and possibly injury. 
Service dogs in general are just awesome. Remember to respect any that you see out in public. They are not there for you to walk up to and play with, even the puppies!

foxinu:

nsfwjynx:

the-pink-mist:

There was a split second there where his like, “wait, what? bro what are you doing?” 

On more serious note, PTSD dogs for veterans are so fucking therapeutic. They’re like the one person you can spill your guts to and never worry about ever being judged or have that secret divulged. There are times when I definitely prefer the company of a dog over a human. 

Therapy animals save lives.

These dogs are even still so much more amazing. They check rooms before their handler enters, so they can clear it to help the person feel safe. Like in the gif, they are there when panic attacks or nightmares occur, to be something for the person to help ground themselves on, or yes just to turn on the lights. Even more amazing, many people are able to reduce their medication when they have a PTSD service dog there to help them. These dogs are useful for not just veterans, but also victims of abuse, accident trauma, natural disasters, and others. Their training allows them to be useful in situations where medical assistance is needed, as well. Some PTSD dogs are trained to recognize repetitive behaviours in handlers, and signal the handler to break the repetition and stopping the behaviour and possibly injury. 

Service dogs in general are just awesome. Remember to respect any that you see out in public. They are not there for you to walk up to and play with, even the puppies!

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

alliartist:

asgardianmoon:

pizzaparty2014:

last-on-your-lips:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF
I BOUGHT IT
MONTHS AGO
TRIED IT ONCE
I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE
IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER
IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 
IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY
I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT
AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
I READ THE DIRECTIONS
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT
I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE
TURNS OUT
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST
WAIT FOR IT TO DRY
COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)
IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW
AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)
AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS
AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM
IT WAS A MIRACLE 
THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST
IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING
AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME
AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY
THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

I USE THIS SHIT
AND NO
IT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK.
IT WILL SURVIVE YOUR THREE TO FIVE MEALS.
IT WILL SURVIVE YOUR DATE
IT WILL SURVIVE YOUR MARTINI AND EVERY BEER YOU DRINK.
IT EVEN SURVIVES BLOW JOBS.
IT WON’T STAY ON A GLASS SO YOU CAN GO ASSASSINATE SOMEBODY AND DRINK THEIR WINE. GO CATWOMAN. JUST DO IT.
BUT THIS SHIT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK

IF YOU CANT GET IT OFF TRY A LITTLE BIT OF TOOTHPASTE, IT CAN BE USED FOR A LOT MORE THINGS THEN JUST TEETH

IF THE TOOTHPASTE DOESN’T WORK, TRY USING BABY OIL. SERIOUSLY, I LOVE THIS STUFF.

I’ve never seen such passion for lipstick

alliartist:

asgardianmoon:

pizzaparty2014:

last-on-your-lips:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF

I BOUGHT IT

MONTHS AGO

TRIED IT ONCE

I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE

IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER

IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 

IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY

I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT

AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

I READ THE DIRECTIONS

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT

I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE

TURNS OUT

YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST

WAIT FOR IT TO DRY

COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)

IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW

AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)

AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS

AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM

IT WAS A MIRACLE 

THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST

IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING

AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME

AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY

THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

I USE THIS SHIT

AND NO

IT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK.

IT WILL SURVIVE YOUR THREE TO FIVE MEALS.

IT WILL SURVIVE YOUR DATE

IT WILL SURVIVE YOUR MARTINI AND EVERY BEER YOU DRINK.

IT EVEN SURVIVES BLOW JOBS.

IT WON’T STAY ON A GLASS SO YOU CAN GO ASSASSINATE SOMEBODY AND DRINK THEIR WINE. GO CATWOMAN. JUST DO IT.

BUT THIS SHIT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK

IF YOU CANT GET IT OFF TRY A LITTLE BIT OF TOOTHPASTE, IT CAN BE USED FOR A LOT MORE THINGS THEN JUST TEETH

IF THE TOOTHPASTE DOESN’T WORK, TRY USING BABY OIL. SERIOUSLY, I LOVE THIS STUFF.

I’ve never seen such passion for lipstick


The kids face behind her is my reaction

The kids face behind her is my reaction

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

ca-tsuka:

Artworks of “Noximilien l’horloger” 2010 special episode from Wakfu french animated tv-series.
Directed by Eunyoung Choi at Ankama Japan studio.
Character-designer : Masaaki Yuasa (Mind Game)
Animation director : Michio Mihara

little-white-cello:

How to australian lolita.

sekoshi:

best amv of all time

gazzymouse:

indevampire:

i think there is no greater dark magic than the cha-cha slide

you will never get a group of people obeying every command so quickly as you will by putting on that song.

every previous conversation grinds to a halt as everyone goes to the left and then takes it back now y’all

EVERY

BODY

CLAP
YOUR
HANDS

onthesideoftheotters:

shotadreams:

mage-of-katnep:

rainbowsfireworks:

confusedtree:

ollivander:

lampghost:

[sleep-over voice] are you awake

[sleep-over reply voice] yeah

[regrettable sleepover invitee voice] you guys SHH

[confused sleep-over voice] what is the meaning of life

[annoyed sleep-over voice] dude shut up

[sleep-over host voice] you guys be quiet my moms gonna hear us

[unknown voice] you kids wanna buy some drugs

pseudo-musician:

Oh angel, oh angel, come and lend me your sword, or just a word so I know its true.
Oh devil, oh devil, come and eat my broken heart, or just sing me a song so I know its you.
Oh mother, oh mother, come and take me in your arms.
Take care of me the way you used to.
Oh father, oh father, can’t you fix these broken things?
If you can’t then can’t you build me something new?
Oh lover, oh lover, why won’t you save me?
Why can’t you be everything?
Oh me, oh me, why won’t you be happy?
Oh me, oh me, oh me.
Oh ghost, oh ghost, why won’t you just die?
Why won’t you even try to move on?
Oh ghost, oh ghost, why won’t you let go, you’d be better off you know if you were gone, if you were gone.

vriska-inferno:

this is SUPER LAME BUT I just…….I love them……….. ….. .so much. …….

vriska-inferno:

this is SUPER LAME BUT I just…….I love them……….. ….. .so much. …….